Welcome to the first episode of “Grace Grown Girls Behaving Badly,” starring your friendly blogger – ME.  The one who knows what it’s like to find yourself so angry that you lock up the holy part of you so you can let your words run amok. 

I had a fun little experience with this just recently.  One I’m not too proud of.  So what better thing to write about?

Because this isn’t the blog for the perfect girls. You can find that blogger down the hall and to the left. 

This is the blog where I share my faults and failures in hopes that you will find a little piece of yourself in it. And maybe we can all grow through this together. 

My recent experience entailed house rules broken, emotions on steroids, anger untethered, and one big Mom bomb going off while they all ran for cover. 

I’m being a smidge dramatic, but you get the point.

Mind you, at this very time I had Lysa Terkeurst’s book Unglued sitting partially read right next to me.

That’s the book that talks about managing your emotions and how to NOT be the bomb that goes off. 

Even more ironic than this is the fact that I had been telling myself I didn’t need to finish this book.

Because I had already figured this stuff out. 

Bwahahahaha!

That may be the funniest joke I’ve ever told. 

Although I hope you’re grinning a little, I also hope you know that I’m not making light of my outburst. 

It didn’t feel good at all. 

Especially when I stepped away and realized how I had just handled myself, along with that sinking feeling that comes when you know you should have checked your anger and watched your words. 

Don’t you sometimes wish you could stop and yell, “Cut! Take 2!  Let’s rewind and try that again?”  I wished I could do this immediately after.

But life isn’t like that.  

Sometimes we use our mouths in unkind ways, no matter how pure our intentions are most of the time. 

In the book of James chapter 3, Jesus’ own brother tells us that no one can tame the tongue.  It is boastful, restless, and even poisonous. 

He points out that the tongue will, in one moment, praise God, and in another, curse others.  He says:

And so, blessing and cursing come pouring out of the same mouth. Surely, my brothers and sisters, this is not right!   – James 3:10

No, it isn’t. 

And that’s why we sometimes feel like the worst people in the world when we are the offenders.

We are all guilty.  Even Jesus’ own brother.  The one who was also raised by the Virgin Mary. 

Trust me, he didn’t write this passage just from his rich experience of watching everyone else mess up.

Friends, ain’t nobody out there who will always control their tongue.

As James knows this, guess what else he tells us?

Indeed, we all make many mistakes. For if we could control our tongues, we would be perfect and could also control ourselves in every other way.   – James 3:2

None of us will get it right all the time. 

And THAT is just one of many reasons why we need Jesus. 

To calm us in our broken moments, to still our souls, to give us wisdom, and to walk us through the humbling process of seeking forgiveness when our mouths have been hurtful.

And here’s what else we need…  To forgive ourselves. 

To not self-loathe or demean ourselves when we know we messed up.

We need to remind ourselves that we are but dust – fallible, sinful, and imperfect.  And that like it or not, we will have these moments.  

And so will everyone else.

It’s what we do after our ugly moments that shows our true character and whether or not we really are allowing God to shape us and correct us.

So, I’m back to reading my “Unglued” book, friends, because clearly I have some work to do.  

And I’m begging God to help me do it. 

I’d like to end this post with a scripture I frequently speak over my life. 

One I often state as a prayer to God, as I ask him to refine me and change me for the better.

Let this be a verse you also incorporate into your life as you seek to love both God and others.

May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing to you, O Lord, my rock and my redeemer.   – Psalm 19:14

A Prayer for You and Me:  God, change our hearts!  Show us where we need refining, and what we need to lay down.  Help us not to lash out at others, but to speak peacefully. Teach us to be self-controlled.  And give us wisdom in moments when our anger threatens to take over our mouths.  May we be used as vessels for your glory, and not as tools for harm.  In Jesus precious name, Amen.