What’s a girl to do when she’s been hurt by another person? 

When words or actions toward her were thoughtless, critical, or unkind?

She may find herself nursing anger, nurturing wounds, or replaying the injustice on repeat.  Especially if the offense ran deep.

She may even long for God to bring the offender down and lift her up in an act of heavenly justice.  

Because that would just feel GOOD.

These are normal feelings when others hurt us.  And sometimes they stay with us for a while.

But we can’t live there forever.  Eventually we need the peace that only God can bring.

Peace that God desires for us.  

Our first step?  To trust God with the offense.  As in, handing over any rightful claim we have toward justice – letting God be judge and jury.

Easier said than done, how well I know.

But when we lean on God through continual prayer, trusting him to pick up the pieces, he will make it possible.

And then, we must baby step our way toward forgiveness.  Because this is when true healing takes place.

Let me tell you why I know this.  

As believers, we are to be like Jesus.  To walk as he walked, to live as he lived, and to pray as he prayed.

In Matthew 6, Jesus prays the well-known Lord’s Prayer, teaching us all how we should pray too.  And tucked into the middle of it, we find these words: “Forgive us our sins, as we have forgiven those who sin against us.”

“Have forgiven”, in past tense, meaning we have already done the hard work of forgiveness.

Thanks be to God, he knows this isn’t easy for us. But he knows it is necessary for us.

Which is likely why, upon ending his prayer, Jesus emphasizes our need to forgive, with this:

“If you forgive those who sin against you, your heavenly Father will forgive you. But if you refuse to forgive others, your Father will not forgive your sins.”    – Matt. 6:14-15

Not the most warm and fuzzy statement.  But one that gives clear direction.  

Because here’s the truth of it.

Unforgiveness is a painful prison.  But forgiveness soothes a wounded heart.

Forgiveness isn’t just for them.  It’s also for YOU.

As the act of forgiveness gives grace to the offender, it brings healing for us — bringing us closer to the Father, keeping us aware of our own humble need for repentance, and leading us down the road toward peace. 

But what do we do when we really believe the offender doesn’t deserve such mercy? 

What then?

Jesus has an answer for that.  He tells us: 

“But to you who are listening I say: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you.”  – Luke 6:27-28

Though this may seem unthinkable, remember our charge… to walk, live, and pray like Jesus. 

The same Jesus who was spat upon, insulted, beaten, tortured, and crucified.

And who then forgave.

If you don’t feel like you’re ready to go there, that’s okay. 

Sometimes it takes a bit to muster up the strength, the faith, or even the desire to begin that process.

Because we are human.

And because offenses toward us are a very personal thing. 

AND, because even though we try to be like Jesus, we aren’t Jesus, and we might just need a minute.

So if you aren’t ready for that yet, friend, that’s okay. 

But I would challenge you today to ask God for the desire to forgive, if that’s what’s missing.  Or the ability to forgive, if you really do want to go there, but the letting go is painful.

This might be a good time to begin the practice of Two-Way prayer – a simple discipline that will teach you to listen to what God has to say. 

You’d be surprised what light God will shed on a situation when our hearts are open and willing to hear.

Here is a link to my He Says page that will show you how to begin.

So, my friend, you now have the key to unlock the prison of any unforgiveness that is holding you today.  I pray that you will use it.  That you will find it within you to lay your offenses down and let Jesus carry the weight of your burden. 

I believe you can.

Then Jesus said, “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest.   – Matt. 11:28